Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Why Mornings Are Difficult

Dear Son of mine,

In case you hadn't noticed yet, it really is important that you get dressed BEFORE the school bus shows up. The meltdowns that ensue on your part every time you see it drive on by without you are really starting to get on my nerves. It's your own dang fault, so I suggest trying a different approach.

For example, try actually putting your pants ON instead of rolling around on the floor with your feet in the air while singing at the top of your lungs. While dancing the jig may be popular in some parts of the world, dancing with one sock on while losing the other one as you flail with flair from room to room doesn't get many rave reviews at this house. Especially not when my eyes are having a hard time being open.

I really don't understand how someone as brilliant as you can put your shoes away the night before, only to be completely unable to find them by the time the sun comes up. And for the love of everything holy, why are you wearing your backpack without a shirt on? God help your future wife.

Sincerely,

Your Worn Out Loving Mother
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