Tuesday, February 24, 2009

News from the Back Acher

It's Tuesday. Another pouring down, rainy day over here in the beautiful Willamette Valley. You people think it rains all the time here in Oregon do ya? Well duh, how do you think the valley gets beautiful? RAIN! And lots of it. Similar to a rain forest. Only not as many poisonous frogs.

Since it's Tuesday, it also means that I obviously missed my Not Me! Monday post yesterday. I tried, but I couldn't think of anything I did wrong. I'm that good. (NOT!)

Maybe next week I'll remember to tell you about wearing an apron at dinner and thinking I'd save my outfit from the inevitable Drop and Plop of whatever food I was trying to wrangle into my mouth, but instead somehow, it managed to drop in just BEHIND my apron but right on the front of my brand new clothes. What do I need? A rain poncho just to dine in?
Pathetic, I tell ya.
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In other news, the smallest child in the household gave me his RULES of being SIX years old today. They go just like this:

No Ticklin'
No Huggin'
No Kissin'

JUST SNUGGLIN' and NUFFIN ELSE!
Well then, I guess that about spells it out for me. He's only been six for a month and already he's changing the well-established rule of my house which is: "Momma can kiss and hug you with no notice whatsoever, and if she feels like tickling you, then just pretend to like it." Oh, and... "No screaming." Hmph!!
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I put up six roosters on Craigslist late last night. Four families claimed them by noon today. I told people to just not tell me what their purposes were for the roosters. I don't wanna know, and neither do my kids. Just get them out of here. My hens are mad at me because there are too many boys running around with nonsense on their minds, and if I don't make the girls happy they won't give me eggs. If I don't get eggs, then my husband sees no purpose for my "hobby" because I sell eggs to buy feed (or I am supposed to be). And if I have no purpose, then that means he won't let me have chickies again, which is really all there is to life.



Anyway... what it all boils down to (pun intended of course):
If momma ain't happy ain't nobody happy.

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Speaking of kids, my son's teacher called me late in the evening last night to tell me something like this: So - your son says if he could pick any pet out of an entire pet store, he'd pick a dog. Why? Because his daddy shot his dog and he witnessed the whole thing and he told the class about it.

Eh?? HE DID NOT!! He knows that the dog died... but for crying out loud what kinda parents do you think we are? "Here son, stand here and hold this shovel while I murdalize your sweet little puppy, who is completely innocent and take notes for a report next week in kindergarten, mmmkay?"

It wasn't like that ma'am. Please don't report us.

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And lastly, I'm NOT SICK ANYMORE! I'm still draggin' around the after effects of a cold and 2 months of muscle loss, but I actually cleaned my kitchen yesterday. Yeah, you heard me right, I'm sporting one brilliant room of happiness. Now only 9 more to go! Woot woot!
Gee... I'm not feeling so good all of the sudden.
How about you? What have you been up to lately?

8 comments:

Livy said...

I love you Lexie!!!

And, ummm... *digs toe in the snow, hands behind my back, eyes almost cast down, but not,*

I saw the dog episode too and it's your fault that I have tri-polar.

Bwahahahahaa... *hides from the black mail picture*

Alexis said...

Tripolar - girl you need to give credit when you use my made-up diagnosis.

Livy said...

That's it! It's official, I now have octpolar!

And be prepared for calls from my parol officer, psychologist, mailman, store clerk, vet, dentist,
Ferry boat driver, Gaaa, don't know why he's still mad, it's not like he lost his eye when I opened that umbrella up next to his face, what ever... anyway, I just want you to know, I told them that my antics were your fault.

I think they all agreed.

I'm making you a new jacket. It has pretty buckles and ribbons... you'll like it. It's festive. =)

He And Me + 3 said...

Ok, your posts just crack me up. I always manage to wear white on the days I cook spaghetti...nough said. *sigh*
Cute new 6 year old rules too. Love it! Great picture too.
Yikes about the dog story. Atleast the teacher called you about it. Oh my.
Who knew roosters would go so quickly on craigslist either...not me:)

Miriam said...

were those your roosters on CL? our rooster has a reprieve. he's just so darn cute. and of course there's just one of him.

heidi said...

Yay for feelin better!

Maybe you should eat nekkid?

My kids have told their teachers some doozies, too. It's so embarassing!

Melanie said...

Love the new rules from your 6 year old! Funny!

Aaron said...

careful six year olds will soon run the world! Great story.