Monday, January 5, 2009

Not Me! Monday What time is it?

Being Brutally Honest, and Living to Tell About It

1. It was not me, that lost track of the days of the week AGAIN because it's Christmas break and I just pretty much cleared my whole calendar of everything. I mean everything! I even forgot to look at the clock and when 3 a.m. showed it's face on more than three nights last week, I just pretended not to notice.

2. It was not me that lost my wallet on New Year's Eve. It's also NOT ME that refuses to carry a purse anymore because it makes my shoulder hurt... so I stick with only hauling around my wallet and my cell phone... in my pants pockets. Now that looks attractive. I didn't offer to find a neutral looking purse so my husband would be willing to carry it for me. I wouldn't do that, or even think about it. Or keep thinking about it as of this minute.

4. I did NOT authorize cheesecake for breakfast one day last week. It's not my fault that the in-laws backed out on our Christmas get-together and we were stuck with this massive sized cheesecake that we didn't want to share with anyone after all. I also didn't back out on their make-up plan a few days later because they were making a ham. I hate ham.

5. Who on the WORLD brought a case of Mike's Hard Lemonade to the New Years Eve party? It was NOT me. How was I to know that our entire small group from CHURCH (plus guests) would drink up most of it either. What's this world coming to? (And it also wasn't ME that checked to make sure that nobody had more than one either. I'm not obsessive or nosey - not in the least)

5. I also did not spend the last three days holed up in my recliner working off the effects of bronchitis and actually ENJOY getting to do that so I could play around with more blog designs for my backacherdesigns blog. I also didn't just throw in a shameless plug. Good grief! What's wrong with me?

6. I am NOT laughing at the most of you who will look BACK UP my list and see that I did two number fives, and realize you didn't even catch it. You're tired too, aren't ya? Either that or you took two Hard Lemonades and you're not telling me.

7. And last but certainly not least, I did NOT tell my friend over instant messenger that I coughed (remember the bronchitis?) and then swallowed - which caused her gag reflex to kick in big time just because of my disgusting storytelling. Sorry 'bout that friend... I'm not like that in real life and I feel bad if you really did throw up. And wet your pants.

For more public humiliation therapy, head on over to MckMama's place. If you can handle it.


Anonymous said...

13 words will sum this up nicely:

You owe me 3 pairs of new pajama pants and 1 new recliner.

That's all I'm sayin about this topic.

He And Me + 3 said...

OMGosh, I am cracking up at the last one for sure and the anonymous comment is just hysterical and adds so much to the story! Lol
Also, cheesecake for breakfast...I will be right over:)

Dana-from chaos to Grace said...

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!! OMG you're KILLIN me here! No wonder I like you! LOL

And I'm TOTALLY checking out your shameless plug! I notieced your new layout RIGHT away! MAN! I wish those worked for Wordpress! I am NOT totally wanting to give you my log in and password info just so you can TOTALLY fix me up real nice! HAAAAAA! You're the QUEEN!

Miriam said...

Your blog looks mah-ve-lous dahling.

Hope you're better soon so you can stop grossing people out already! Oh, come to think of it, you don't need bronchitis to do that!

Misty said...

just so you know, i didn't do the first one either!

Beth E. said...

I think my purse weighs more every time I pick it's up to about 20 lbs., I'm sure!

#7...ew, grooooooooss!!! I think I threw up a little in my mouth. :op

The hard lemonade remark is pretty mom went to a party years ago and ACCIDENTLY drank spiked punch....she had to be carried out to the car! lol

Hope you're feeling all better now.


startastical said...

What a boring life you lead NOT doing all those things. No wonder you have to spend so much time in the recliner. Life is just too dull and depressing to even think about moving! Lots of Luv!!!

Shabby Olde Potting Shed said...

I'm struggling, really struggling with #7 at the moment...

excuse me----....