My 12 year old did NOT spend all week collecting laundry, only to place it on the FLOOR of the laundry room and then proceed to tell me that she did the laundry. Hello? It was all over the floor and not in our closets... what part of "Yes, I already did it" do you think I believed?
My 10 year old did NOT decide to pout about having to sit with me in church yesterday through TWO services. She wouldn't pout. NO siree she would not! After all, it was her choice not to participate in the children's choir and be a BIG girl. Big girls don't pout. (And neither do their mothers)
My 8 year old son was NOT overheard saying things like, "Come to my party or die!" I mean, good grief, that would be creepy. He also didn't practice kissing the air. What's with THAT?
My 5 year old has NOT ever been seen being a cow (or a "moo moo") in a childrens concert. He also didn't spend the whole time doing strange antics and attempting to pull the horns off his costume.
While we're the topic of people who didn't do things... my husband did NOT drag me outside at 1 a.m. this morning to put chickens away who were hiding out in our carport. He also did NOT get a kick out of me hauling straw around and tucking in the animals who were exposed to the snow. I would NEVER tuck a turkey in and say goodnight, or bundle up the bunnies in little straw forts.
Just to gross you out, I did NOT catch my daughters out in the field (where the CHICKENS live) having a snowball fight. After all, the chickens do NOT poop all over that area, and the snow would be perfectly clean for flinging! *gag*
For more public humiliation, head on over to MckMama's place.