1. I did NOT eat halloween candy for breakfast. That would be unhealthy, and give me crazy bursts of energy followed by episodes of near paralysis.
2. I didn't forget to go out to check on the animals this morning. That would be awful of me.
3. I also did not neglect to bring in the mail simply because it was pouring down rain. And, it was NOT ME that asked one of my kids to do it when they got home, even though it was still raining buckets.
4. I did not ask my daughter to make school lunches the last two mornings. It was not me that was feeling extremely lazy and wanting to read a book instead.
5. It absolutely was not me that took a picture of my daughter laying on an exam table at the doctors office because I thought it was funny that her immunization made her feel like she was "being punched repeatedly in the arm" and she felt sort of sick and her eyes were crossing. I also did not make funny jokes at her expense and get the nurses in the hallway laughing too. Only bad mothers do that.
Please, I beg of you, join in with me! (Which is code word for: I feel like an idiot, make me look better!!)
For more Not Me! Monday "Therapy" head on over to MckMama's place.